By some miracle people actually find me an uplifting person. Someone who makes them feel better. Cause hey, if I can make it through this struggle, any one can right? I need people to know this chronic illness is real, that it is scary.
What is the number one question always asked? In my mind the most asked question is: “why?”
When you look back on your childhood you probably asked this question a lot. We were young, searching for knowledge that we couldn’t comprehend yet because we were just a children.
I’m just a child too when it comes to my brain. Why does my brain misfire? Why me? Why am I a living miracle?
Why this, why that. Why the medications?
Why the EEG’s?
Why can’t I just be normal?
Why the hurt? Why the tears? Why the physical pain?
Why, why, & even more why.
The truth is, we may never know why. It was hard to accept that, and to be honest I’m not done asking why and I’m not giving up hope of finding out the reason.
But I made the decision long ago — and I won’t stop now — to turn all the uncertainties and questions and lack of answers into a positive.
I live my life to the fullest I’m capable of, each and every day.
To raise awareness about epilepsy and educate people about the condition I let people know I do have epilepsy — but that I’m so much more than a label; I’m more than my epilepsy.
Sudden unexpected death in epilepsy, or SUDEP, means every breath in my body could possibly be my last, so, I make each and every day a good day.
I live for my moments. My memories.
I love the fact I can inform people about the seriousness of this condition but also show them that there is a way to dance through the rain. And you can too.
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